Rear view Mirror

Often times I imagine looking in my rear view mirror and see all I am leaving. Meaning wish I could just pack what I can in my car and drive away. Not having a particular destination in mind. It would be so nice to have that freedom. Not be stuck just working to pay the bills. I guess this thinking is I feel no ties here. This may sound sad but I don't feel that way. I am pretty at ease with my life other than the occasion complaint of work or people.

I guess it's one of the many reasons that has made me want to have a child. It may all sound contridictory me wanting to leave and then just say settle down and become a mother. I just feel strongly that a child would give me a purpose to put roots down. I feel like I have no real family anymore. Since my mom died it's not the same anymore and it has taken me years and a lot of emotions to be okay with that. Don't get me wrong it hurts every day knowing that I don't have my mom anymore. The okay part is that my once was family is no more. I have come to terms with it and pretty much look at it is as "it is what it is"